Balance, what is it? What does it mean to you? What disturbs your balance? How do you find yours in a world of constant chaos and disorder? So many questions, so many potential answers. Well, let me unpack this a little.
Balance means different things to different people. Webster’s defines balance a couple of ways. First is the most obvious being that balance relates to our equilibrium, or sense of stability. It is an even distribution of weight that allows one to remain upright and steady. However, balance is also related to a frame of mind or our mental and emotional steadiness.
In most cases, physical imbalance is easy to restore. You can shift objects around to keep them from falling, or you can use a cane to help you stand and walk. Or even grab the railing if on the stairs. Restoration is usually readily accessible. On the other hand, balancing from the mental and emotional perspective is slightly different. Dare I say this is more dangerous than physical balance?
Let me set the stage for you. It is Monday and we all know Mondays can be hell, simply because it is a Monday. You had a great weekend, and you have staged your clothes, meals, etc., to launch into Monday and be ready to tackle the week. Sound pretty good, right? As soon as you wake up, you manage to get through your quiet time (if that’s your kind of thing) and as my husband says, “That’s when the fight breaks out.” You get that one text or phone call or direct message that rocks your Monday, and all you have essentially done is wake up.
You pray once again or have a couple more seconds of quiet time, but you cannot focus. Why? Because although you have done everything in your power to set yourself up for success, it is a Monday kind of Monday where the tone has been set in one instance. It is almost like Monday said, “You thought it’d be a good day and that was a lie.” Yes, just like that and you can practically hear Maury Povich say those words in your head. What do you do? Do you go back to bed and just tap out on Monday, or do you decide to make Monday your b**ch?
Well in my case, I take a couple of deep breaths and think, “Oh so this is what we’re doing today? Ummm, okay cool. Lemme adjust my crown and handle this stuff!” I put on my game face and I take Monday head on. I start to look for some semblance of balance to counteract my mindset. I look to God first, as I know that I am a work in progress like we all should be. I just know that He is always (and forever more!) my first stop when life decides to become chaotic be itself inflicted or bleed over from something or someone else. I love scripture as calms my spirit and helps me “suit up” to handle whatever chaos has started or awaits me. But do not get it twisted, Jesus flipped tables in the temple, so do not think I will not do the same. Yep take a look in Matthew 21, LMBO!
I also use my drive time to the gym to collect my thoughts. You see, I have PT. So, when life is not balanced for me, I tilt, lose focus, and chaos ensues. This is at home and at work and periodically, I affect a couple of friends but that is a totally different story. I talk to my husband a ton, because he ‘calms all the crazy’ and helps me manage the voices.
I reach out to my closest friends known as ‘The Coven.’ With them? The words will be objective and at times painful, but I would not trade them for anything. All conversations are nonjudgmental, honest, unfiltered but filled with love. ZERO sugar coating! If need be, I will tag in my crazy mom! She gives ZERO F*CKS and will level you with her honesty. If you do not want the truth, NEVER ask her. She will outright hurt your feelings with love, if that makes any sense. Now I know you are reading this like why is she sharing so much? Here is why.
Life was not designed to be easy, well it was but WE have made it difficult. We have imposed our views, thoughts and opinions in places where they were not needed or requested. We have allowed ourselves to be become inundated with drama. We have allowed social media convolute our thinking. Our perception of right and wrong changes with the wind.
In today’s culture, balance is practically nonexistent. But here is the thing, WE can recover. Start small, start with turning your case of the Mondays into something positive. Hunt the “Good Stuff” as we said in the Army. Trust me, there is something small be it a conversation with a friend, ten minutes of peace from screaming kids or coworkers….there is something small that happens EVERYDAY to help you balance your form of crazy. Do you believe me or no? If no, stop right now and reflect on your day. I am sure you will see something that will make you smile, even if it is an evil smile.
is a retired veteran, mother, young pretty grandma, (“Ask my husband!”), wife, and friend who manages the voices in her head by staying busy, upbeat, and “prayed up.” Follow her writing on ‘Voices from the Bleachers’ on Facebook. This was her first article.
Eric C. Evans
Collette, are you still trying to deny being a writer?
Collette I love your article. I hope this is the first of many. That photo of you and hubby is Hawt!