Ractapopulous on pixabay.com

Closure eludes me.
Or maybe
it’s an illusion.
Or maybe
it’s an urban legend
like Bigfoot.

Does anyone ever really have closure?
People talk about it, but is it
really a real thing?
does closure exist?

I just can’t see it,
because I’m always spinning like a top
painted in patterns of so many old traumas
my damage blurs together,

because the world keeps turning every damn day.

closure is just for other people
with less damage
with simpler lives
more linear sensibilities
who do things in order.
Open then shut.
Beginning then ending.

Not like me
always doing all the things
one thing flowing into another thing
before I’m done with the first thing
and also another thing
spinning all the things

Or maybe
I’m confusing closure with
shut down
with being closed
with the dams I have to lock down
in order to keep from flooding
all the folks downstream

because the world keeps turning every damn day.

The universe keeps spinning.
We’re all just dust in a vortex.

Black holes exist.
Life exists.

Death exists
but it doesn’t bring closure.
It opens up a whole new world.
I know that for sure.
I know grief. Grief exists.
Grief exists

because the world keeps on turning every damn day.

Circling around the vortex that is this universe
turning and turning and
spinning itself back upon itself.
you might say.

You know what? I’m over closure.

I’m open.
I’m bustin’ out.
I’m taking a monkey wrench to this whole
lock down operation.
I’m about to release these waters
and ride the waves.
I’m gonna let it ripple
and let it rumple
and I don’t even care
if it flushes it all down the vortex.

Because you can’t close the universe.

It flows.
It keeps on turning and
spinning all the things
in all the directions
all at once

So, we can keep hunting for closure
and Bigfoot, if that’s your thing,
but I’m just gonna keep my eyes open
for what’s around the bend.
See what flows in.

light the fuse,
dive off this dam
and let the water cycle
take care of itself.

IMG_2471-Laura Delfino

Laura J Delfino is the mother’s hip at the mothership of Yes & Also Productions, where she employs her scattered mind and focused heart to a myriad of unpaid, yet valuable activities, including motherhood and artmaking.

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