Watch Yourself! This My Space

Rev. Dr.Robert Yarbrough

Boundary: That which indicates or fixes a limit or extent; that which marks a bound, as of a territory.

Want to have some fun? You know I’m kind of mischievous, so you in? We could see this as an exercise in life, an experiment in human behavior. So, the next time you go out to eat, notice how the person quickly scans the table area as you sit down. This scan aims to divide the table space into equal parts, theirs and yours. We are territorial by nature. We need to feel safe.

Now, during conversation or the meal, slide your napkin, a piece of silverware, or a glass beyond the invisible boundary line separating their space from yours and watch them start to fidget. They become anxious for no reason that is at the forefront of awareness, but deep in their primal being, their space is being invaded, and it is not comfortable. I used to do this with customers. Then, as I would move into how I could help them, I would take the invasive knife, napkin, or glass out of their territorialized space and help them feel comfortable, just like when I sell them something to make their life easier.

Sometimes we need to protect our territory, our space. One of the most sensitive times we need to do this, when we need to set limits, is when we are working on a self-realization project. You know, when we are attempting to do our spiritual work so we can heal. During these times, all kinds of adverse energy that does not match our healing vibration gather all around us. We have to focus and set boundaries so that these energies, these people, stay outside of our consciousness, outside of our mind. These instances of external stimuli are not supportive of the cause, so we must make a concerted effort to keep them at bay.

On regular day-to-day, though, I have few boundaries. This way, people can come in and be themselves. More to the point, in this mindset, I can always be me. So freeing it is. The one thing always a never with me is Stupid Stuff. You bring me Stupid Stuff, and you will get a kitchen pass out of my life. But here, in the dropping of boundaries, which includes prejudices and biases, is where we grow. We grow able to listen and understand those that do differently from us. We don’t have to feel anxious and shut down as if preparing for an invasion. In this state, in this understanding, we realize that God made enough for us all.

Setting boundaries is also healthy. It keeps us from going overboard. The boundaries help keep us aligned with ourselves. So when it’s time to set boundaries for our own good and well-being, I say to set them. When is it appropriate to extend our boundaries to include more of life? I am a proponent of that, also. And as it always comes down to, it’s about “choose you this day.” We must prepare to choose the appropriate way to go. We do this to get where we’re going. Peace.

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